Number Seventy Eight

Sa would never forget where he began.
He remembered being born and he remembered every morning when he awoke.

He remembered that lovely day when he lay flat on his back floating on the surface of the water. He remembered the empty bubbles rising from beneath him.

He remembered watching the sky change colors and the stars rotate. Every change in motion that day he could feel intimately, even now. And even now he felt he was still there.

Just a moment ago he ascended in a bubble to the planet, from a moon. Just a second ago he saw Atee and her family swimming in a full crater. It was just yesterday when they awoke and glided over the world with their kite. And they saw the angels pass them by and then they flew over the diamond beings' kingdom.

It felt like just a few days ago that he had been up so high in the canopy of the rain forest and prayed with Atee that they wouldn't fall.

He hadn't been so far away this whole time. He was just a heartbeat and a memory away from the Heaven in his past.

He couldn't dream himself into the present. And Sa was always weeping if he imagined a life of not exploring existence with Atee. And when they were apart he could only stay awake and she could only sleep. And apart from each other every adventure was lesser and every storm was gentler.

It didn't seem but a minute away that he was asleep and dreaming in the center of the storm.

And when he blinked he was another blink past all his memories. He was used to being dreamed and when no one was around to imagine he had nowhere to be.

And just like in water or space Sa's soul couldn't breathe without creating. He exhaled more than he inhaled. And when his brain turned off a new world was being born and when he awoke he could smile at the sight of it. And its face was identical with his face. And just one breath was between this side and that. Where one bridge and one way led to every treasure and all hope and every friend was awaiting along the way.

Sa could handle noisiness and nonsense. And he knew Atee knew where to find peace when the monsters were close. Sa only prayed that his eyes wouldn't disappear or that his skin would slip off. All he wanted was blood to relay this love to every cell and all he wanted was his bones to carry this music and all he wanted were muscles to keep his balance in the current. And he only wanted oxygen so he could float and a mind so that he could appreciate change.

He couldn't remember never having hands and if he tried too hard, he thought he might wish them away. He would never know if he had wished away his own wings in a life passed. Maybe he once had a second chance and he had already used it up before he was so careful. Maybe he had killed another being before he had known better.

And just that thought left him infinitely apologetic and grateful. And who was he to have this life. Maybe he had accidentally been blessed. It doesn't take but a small error for the most tremendous consequences.

He couldn't do anything else but devote his whole being and aspire to the highest ideal.

In his dreams he learned more about the world than when he was awake.

His imagination was a reality far sincere than the outside.

And water in his dreams had a quality absent from the rivers and streams outside of him. On the inside, light was inside everything, and love wasn't a luxury but the very air.

Sa touched the grass with his toes and he touched the sky with his eyes, he touched the stars with his wonder, he touched the flowers with his compassion, he touched the past with his reverence.

In his life, he still knew where Atee was when she was somewhere else. When he spoke aloud to her, he could hear her speaking back. And silently, she could always hear him too.

Sa remembered when the sky had fallen. It was the first time he saw strangers holding hands and crying. And it was the first time that he saw tears form twisters in the air and carry lovers away.