Number Fifty Four ©

Atee asked for directions. They asked where she was intending to go. She told them that's why she was asking. They thought they were sure she could think of some place to go. But, she just asked them to direct her.

Finally, one of them decided to help her. This one was the only one truly concerned about friendship. Someone to travel through life with, someone who would surrender to the earth, to renunciate all weakness.

It was the power of the word that she lived her life by. When the word was quiet, she lived quietly. When the word was a shout, she lived out loud.

She borrowed a pattern from a butterfly and wrapped it around her wings.

Her friend was authentic and true in her presence. The ferocious panthers were calm around her. Some beings played drums as Atee and her friend walked past their settlement. Something compelled her to look at the mountain rising higher and higher. The transparent music kept her senses fresh and her head innocent, curious and pure.

Her friend suggested they stay and share a meal at their settlement. They stopped the drums for the meal. Atee was always in wondrous awe at the power of food. Her body was just food. Inside she was replacing her weak parts with new ones.

Food taught her her first lessons on balance. How much to eat to create as much energy as necessary and how to feel grateful and give back. Ultimately, she would provide food to the world around her. That would be her last meal. She would think of this sometimes after eating too much. The only times she was very serious was during stomach aches.

Her friend had joined the band. Atee felt so fortunate to have met everybody. In a day, all in one day. She wanted to start this day as new year's, or at least, as the beginning of the month. She thought it over while the paced, listening to the drum music. She decided she would start her life over from this day.

Yesterday was a past life. Tomorrow doesn't exist. Today was a new life. And such a struggle it had been already! And such a party, and such fun! Such excitement, so much to reflect on as she drifted off to sleep later.

To prepare to sleep, she would wrap the day into a knot, starting from that moment until the second she had awoken. She knew she could spend a long time preparing tonight.

Her friend played the whole concert with the band. They gave an encore. Atee was waiting for the encore in her life. An encore to her sleep and dreams. An encore for breakfast and supper, an encore for happiness and peace, an encore for pain and bitterness, an encore to love and friendship.

Maybe her whole life was an encore. Atee existed as the encore to yesterday. Everyday, she was called back to stage. They applauded but never criticized. There was nothing she could do on that stage that would be wrong. Everything that could ever happen to her was natural. Nature never supplied something unbearable.

Atee pranced onstage as a flower of eternity. She was applauded and was cheered on to give another performance.

She turned her face to the curtains and jumped backwards onto the crowd. They held their hands in the air and carried her like a feather. She closed her eyes and could swear on her weightlessness.

The world was looking for new ways.

New ways to express and be expressed. Atee was just a reflection of these shadows. She could stand only on ground. She could swim only in water. She couldn't jump without gravity, and she couldn't draw without a pencil.

It looked like nothing was going to change. She just rested her bones. The crowd passed her back and forth. She slid like a slippery ice cube.

Her friend woke her up and had to tell her of the perfect forms backstage.

Atee was outside her whole life. There wasn't anywhere else to be. Inside was just another name for outside the outside.

Atee and her friend were both ready for a wish. They thought of all the birthday cakes, wishing wells and shooting stars. They thought someone was destined to wish them.

Maybe they missed it, or they had already been wished. Maybe their asking was the wish itself. Their freedom may just be a wish. Their wishes may be someone else's wish. In this way, wishes were one. The wish already was, just waiting for realization.

A whole galaxy of stars went marching to the other end of the cosmos. But, one single light stood still, spinning itself a spiral. Some stars went back into space, others closer and closer. Becoming what they were not, wishes into wishes.

Atee was there when the stars entered the atmosphere. She was there when they came right to her. She was there when it was no larger than a marble. All the stars in the sky, just marble size. Nevermind what everyone had been told, Atee held it in her hand.

She walked down to the shore with her friend. She dreamed. She called out her friends name, they didn't hear her. They put their hand against the handprints fossilized into the trees. She took them by the hand and they stepped through the luscious, rich, green grass to the river.

Atee tossed the marble into the river. It floated to the surface and a star descended into the sky. Her friend tossed in a lemon from a lovely tree growing above them. Sunlight breathed life into the dream. Her star was hidden by the healthy, blue sky.

She knew this life was only dreamable once. She prayed others could be dreamable. That they could spread their beauty even during sleep to other dreaming souls. She knew her friend was only dreamable once. Who knows what would happen when she woke up. She wanted the stars to enlighten the isolated and the lost.

She was under a single star.

She swam into the water, she descended into the sky. She took the sun and dropped back to earth. She held the source in her hand, all flowed out. Atee knew her friend could feel it.

The sun was a lemon, the sky was a mirror.

The impressions she received were fish in the water and the stars in the sky.

The angels tumbling down hills and splashing in the puddles were the children who would never die.

She had known heaven to be right within that lemon. A heaven grew for everybody.

Number Fifty Two ©

Sa and Atee, their bodies fell into hills of dust and were blown away by motion. Love animated the motion. An invisible hug embraced the sun.

Secluded places beside rivers and wildflowers, refreshments for athletes, legs for the decrepit, warmth for the forgotten, color for the blind, a laugh for the intellectual and the miserable, tea for the silent, air and water for the wise.

A play at the source. costumes wearing masks and wigs. The audience was dressed too. Jokes dropped from the sky and filled the water bowls.

Dust moved fast. Even when the day was dark and the bushes were noisy. The cracks in the earth moved slowly. Lava was fighting for a breath of fresh air.

The keys were all stuck in their holes. The locks shouldn't have been made at all. Locks destroyed the capacity for trust.

Atee was a refuge.

Sa could feel a fragrance hovering around his trails. As lonely followers traced his path, they too felt the fragrance. They spread it wherever they went. Their balloons were inflated with it, their quills penned with it, their tubs were full of, their clothes were cleaned with and their homes were supported by it.

The fragrance was present around Atee. Trees grew and fishes were born of it. The birds flew in circles overhead, the prehistoric mosquitoes transferred it body to body and dragonflies defended their mountains and castles with it.

It inculcated strength. It brought them closer to themselves. It opened their windows and went outside.

After a million years, dreams would replace reality. Sleeping worlds would dream new worlds to be dreamt. Only a single seed would bear the past and future.

Belly up, that's how beaches meditated.
Fingertips to the sky, that's how mountains meditated.
Upside down, valleys.
Whirling in circles, tornadoes and hurricanes.
On and on, moment to moment, locking hands with life, never wavering, like a stream.
In and out of dreamed reality, Sa and Atee.

Number Fifty ©

Sa penned two verses into the fictional memoir of his life. One, a parable on the fading longevity of vision. The other, a silent song.

When he peered under the covers, what he saw is what he had been told. When he took off his glasses, his connection to time branched into new interests. He would periodically connect with differences as the connection touched the peripheries around.

Sa looked for where it was hiding. Something, what was in his drawers. Or on the shelves? What about the neighbor's house? Underneath it all, around the sides of it all. Searching and digging. his paranoia grew. So many things that grew around him, left alone. It could be anywhere. He wanted to know for himself. He flipped over every question, reversed every answer, looked through the eyes on the other side of the painting.

When he saw through, he realized they too were his eyes. Anything he saw through was his eyes. He couldn't see something, and not be behind his own eyes.

He could place his hand on the glass without pushing it through. He could look at a window and he could see through it. Just as he could watch or a dream, or live it. He could feel his heart, he could wear it on his sleeve, or he could pump his blood through other veins. It was his idea of love, one shared blood flow, when all of our hearts pump life through one another.

When a softness was comforting pleasure for this hand and that hand. When behind all the eyes and voices was one flowing bloodstream. When this beginning in one being was a beginning within us. When the falls between planes were also the planes between falls. When what we know was all we had to experience and the return to soil was our one and only.

Number Forty Nine ©

Atee rested on a high place. but couldn't jump. Somewhere she wanted to jump, somewhere she knew it would happen. Somewhere the light switch was off, somewhere she couldn't see her head in the mirror.
She stared straight down. It was heavier than she was. Maybe she could float, like a boat.

She turned away. She hadn't reached the top yet. Higher she would endeavour. Trek into the heavens. Atee looked up, up and away.

Multiple springs bubbled with gas. Atee would never see them. Atee would climb back down. What had taken a hold of her, brought her back to a high place.

She looked out over the bottom. If she looked straight ahead she could neglect this drop. It wouldn't eat her alive. She allowed dignity to slide off her shoulders.

"There is no going back now" Atee whispered to her ears.

No manifestation of her own could save her now. Not a single ghoul or soul could swoop down and lift her again. Not a cloud could fall, not a sky to cry for her.

She put her eyebrows together, and stepped. She lost her sense of goals, her orientation was liquid flowing. The pit welcomed her. Atee was dethroned from her high place.

It would happen again. And when life stroked deep, warm breaths through her, bells wouldn't ring. And when a soil field felt hurt by her, when she didn't reach to make an open relationship with an open, empty hand, a presence would reciprocate a slash of negligence and blindness for her.
When tunnels collapsed before her and bridges turned to ashes, she realized she was wrong when she thought she could always say "I can". Sometimes, she knew she couldn't.

When a desert brushed footprints of hers away, when a blizzard erased her tracks and rain washed away and sponges scrubbed away, she would land like a branch from a tree.

Over precious rounded stones. She saw the process of erosion, she felt it like attrition when she ached. She felt herself rounding away, smoothing and polishing. Like a stone, she carried herself like a locket, or a ring or a jewelry box.

She spoke and everything was busy. She closed her lips and the roots absorbed more nutrients. So soft, this presence catered to her, just as it touched everything, all the others and all the "not yets".

A knock on her door summoned her to come home. She knew she would arrive late. The lights would be low, the music would be dying.

Her prism was incomplete.

Atee wiggled into a cozy, baby sweater. She sipped coffee like her grandmother. Trees outside the windows filtered wind to jingle chimes through the passage of an open door. Colored glass bent light, grandmother looked silly with a multicolored face.

Together, Atee watched two falcons hunt and prey.

Atee would never forget to be receiving to blessing. Atee reached a gloveless hand into the fountain of inspiration. A little now and then kept her heart in a spiral of passion. No corners or edges.

All on one, Atee designated a team captain from the best looking specimens in her garden. A brown beetle and a swarm of bees. "How will I ever get these two to compete?" She thought.

She wouldn't take a leadership role again. Electrifying hears and minds she could leave to the military.

Ahead of her sense of self, an endless angle. She couldn't get out and measure it, she was an unmoving, static vertex. Just one among infinity.
No sides, no curves. Just a hanging tiny circle to the upper-right of a number.

With a pair of scissors, Atee could do some things she wouldn't dream of.

From hand to hand she could experience existence. She didn't need a sundial or a bucket. Filling something with emptiness, she could sell it to a hole. She carried dice in her hands, she lived out loud, she bathed in sun juice. She punched sorrow with her knuckles, she ate with a spoon, she read in the darkness.

A belief in forever distracted her from the forever now. She sat under an apple tree, with a basket to catch the falling apples, philosophizing about apples. "What to think?" She should have asked. Instead, she thought of the core and the skin as she sliced it with a blade. Too much energy she wasted altogether under a simple tree in the midst of light.

Even as the earth gave its charity to all of space with its vines and grapes, stars continued to explode and forget to care. Outside the beautiful sphere the earth provides, is a non-sharing volume of chaos.

Whatever was tickling Atee was just enough. She fell onto the ground, she screamed with laughter. Her head disappeared. She looked like a dancer as she tried to escape whatever had its fingers poking at her.
It stopped and she opened her eyes. It felt like the first time. Where everybody was, was in communion with one another sharing and enjoying the company. Her breath returned and her grace poured out.

Number Twenty Three ©

Sa was standing on the beach looking out over the sea. He felt so alone. Everybody was alive on the other side, the city was bouncing with activity. The beach was vacant, desolate.

A small boat was sailing across. Just the boat, nobody was in it.

The sky was grey above the beach; rainbows and birds danced over the city.

Sa dug his toes into the sand. He dug his feet into the sand. The sand wasn't grainy but smooth and silky, like round pearls. He continued to slip his shins into the sand.


Sa lifted a shovel out of the sand and began digging with it. The sand kept sliding back into this hole. He imagined this hole to contain a treasure chest.

He lifted the treasure chest out. He dropped it beside the pile.

The treasure box opened, nothing was inside. Sa crawled inside and let it shut, let it move back into the hole, let the sand fill the hole, let the shovel disappear.

Sa layed in that treasure chest so long that he lost track of time. He was living another life, by this time. Before long, that life had evolved into two lives. Again it split, into four lives. At each decision the life would split.

It grew exponentially. Sa was alive in uncountable lives. Uncountable families, memories and sensations. Sa no idea he was still in the treasure chest buried beneath the sand.

Sa was so many places at once. Slowly, but surely, his lives began to simplify themselves. Some light had been shown, many problems were peeled away. Confusions were being lifted and things and situations began to line up. Through millions of lives, this light was bringing clarity. Everything began making sense. His problems were silly. All of the trillions of conflicts were being resolved, all of complications just drifted away.

All of his lives were so vivid and fulfilling. Each one compelled more of his attention than the other. Sa disrupted the balance and put a tad more attention to just one. Instantaneously, one life dropped.

Sa scrambled to save it but several other lived were lost in the process. As he rushed to catch a few of those, they only vanished upon touch, they disappeared right before his eyes. Many more lived dropped away.

He didn't even try to save them. He whispered goodbye to all of the families, all of the friends and lovers he was yet to meet. He whispered goodbye to all of his mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters.

Lives fell all around him. He wanted to cry, but couldn't, not in front of all these memories. He didn't want them to see him this way. Just as everything was turning bright, he began crying.

The lives fell into piles all around him. The piles stacked so high, they formed walls. Sa couldn't even see above them.

He was surrounded by walls growing even taller and thicker. He stopped wanting to cry. He began feeling claustrophobic. There wasn't anywhere to escape to, his hands were gone, his feet were gone. He couldn't find them, he couldn't even find his eyes, or his mind. Everything was lost, even his life had fallen, even his dreams had fallen away. Sa tried to fall asleep but he was already sleeping.

Whatever compelled Sa to climb out of the treasure chest, would baffle him forever. It must have been his utter hopelessness, his complete lack of all freedom of action. That was the last time he ever got lost beneath the sand.

Number Twenty Seven ©

Sa peeled the skin off of an orange. It smelled so sweet. Sa didn't even want to eat it anymore. He put the orange skin into his hand and carried it outside. He set it down on top of his mailbox. He left the fruit inside.

He walked barefoot to the store. He didn't need shoes, or socks. He just thought of the natives on oceanic islands who are barefoot through rainforest and jungle.

He passed by several people on his way. They didn't mind. No shoes? Big deal! A few smiled at him. Sa felt a peculiar camaraderie with the people he smiled with. It was as if they knew something everyone else didn't. He felt like they all shared something special. It was reflected in their smiling faces and the gleam in their eyes.

Sa noticed the sky above him was an orangish-violet color, swirled together.

The store was closed. Sa didn't mind. He decided to keep exploring since he was here anyway.

He stuck his hand in the fountain. A couple heads popped up on the other side. Little kids were playing. They were still too short to see over the fountain. They had to hang on by their elbows and shoulders. They momentarily looked at Sa and then continued playing. Sa didn't bother them.

In fact, Sa didn't even notice the kids until they splashed water on him. He smiled and flicked water back. The two kids together, reactively, splashed more water back to Sa.

Sa decided he would play this game. He splashed, they splashed.

They went back and forth moving around the round fountain. Ducking and weaving and making lots of noise.

Time went past so quickly. Sa was getting exhausted physically, but the adrenaline from the excitement in this game kept him energized.

It was becoming dark. A couple ladies came walking with purses swinging at their sides, they both, pushed up their sunglasses and told the kids to come with them. The kids wanted to play with their friend longer. But all of the pleading and whining in the world wouldn't change their minds to let them play with a stranger. The kids went submissively as all children eventually must. They were visibly saddened and Sa felt sorry for them.

The kids waved goodbye and so did Sa. They never saw each other again. It was so tough to say goodbye. Sa had a knot in his stomach. He had to give in however and let it go, let them go.

The women didn't say goodbye, but Sa waved to them as they walked away, anyways.

It was too dark, he might get lost. Sa wasn't in an adventurous mood anymore. He just wanted to wake up when the sun was bright and the say was young. He walked home, barefoot. He didn't pass anybody by except for someone walking the same way he was.

They were several yards ahead. Sa didn't try to get their attention.

They turned away from the direction Sa was traveling, at the next turn anyways.

Now Sa was walking home alone. The feeling was oddly familiar and he wished he had someone to walk with. But, he didn't, so he walked quickly and shut the door behind him.

He went into the kitchen and ate the rest of his orange. When he awoke, he would spy on the mailman just to see if he would sniff the orange peelings.

Sa knew if he was a mailman and there were orange peelings on a mailbox he would be delighted to smell them. Just the thought of it cheered him up.

He concentrated on such a joyous mailman as he drifted to sleep. Such a mailman might be so happy that walking so much ,from house to house, may be transformed into pure fun. "What a happy world it would be if every one's work was pure fun, like play", Sa thought lastly before entering a dream.

Number Forty One ©

Sa saw Atee floating in the water.

The sun was smiling upon the whole beach. Atee knew Sa was trying to swim to her and, kept laughing to herself when the waves pushed him away.

Sa was so close. And then some dumb kid's float would get in his way. Or a fish would bite his leg.

Atee wasn't even floating that far from the beach. Sa was just a poor swimmer. She kicked, splashing water at him. A wave came and pushed him under.

It wasn't until then that he realized how deep the water was. There was miles and miles below them.

There was a glowing orange fish below, sparkling the water around it. It had crystallic scales, Sa wanted a closer view.

He swam directly below Atee and stared at the creature.

Atee looked around for Sa on the surface, she waited for his head to pop up.

Sa followed the fish as it guided him to its school. He could see it off in the distance. They came in all colors and forms.

They all floated around as if they knew Sa, and were expecting him. Maybe the orange fish was a recruiter.

"There is so much diversity down here" Sa thought. Even what he thought were pebbles and stones seemed to be breathing. Fishes with wings sailed and swallowed worms living in aquatic trees.

Sa marveled over the hugeness of everything. Not only was there a massive volume of space awaiting to be archived with millions of beings, but there was so much business. The pirate fish ate the moss before the stone carrier fish could hold it in between its fins and use it to build a stone home.

Sometimes a large ruling class species would echo orders down to the rest. Sometimes one of its own would rebel and begin attacking the ruler. All the smaller workers would then go into hiding for protection.

As Sa scanned the sponges at the bottom, the ocean floor began popping. Bubbles rose and the stuff the floor was made of was displaced. Some of the sea creatures took notice, but not enough.

Without any further warning, the entire section of ocean bottom erupted. All of the surrounding water ejected into the open sky. The blast was so incredibly loud, Sa thought it may have shattered his bones.

There was so much water in the air, some of the fishes were still able to swim around.

The water continued to rise, Sa saw Atee high above him. He wondered when they would begin descending.

Atee was still flat on her back as if she was still floating on the water. Maybe she was, Sa couldn't tell.

He was ensnared in a air pocket, alone. His own free breathing zone.

The mean fish were still playing their cruel tricks, biting unsuspecting, innocent swimmer fish.

The sky became diluted in color. And then Sa noticed another patch of water had been blasted into the sky, as well. That body was now between the sun and himself, channeling the light.

It was then, when Sa noticed that all around him, water was rising gracefully higher and higher into the sky.

The predatory birds had a good time, easily snatching their meals.

Sa thought this would be a good time to swim up to Atee. Somehow Atee knew because she had rolled over and signaled to him.

Sa kicked off the surface of the water which formed the floor of his air cell, and dove upwards into the water.

It was like a maze. And every fish clique owned their own quarters of the ocean. Sa didn't want to intrude on any of their business.

He had to take a long route and go around many of these aquatic clans. By this time, he was lost.

In fact, he may have un-noticingly entered an adjacent water block. It was hard to distinguish between swimming in the ocean above sea level and under sea level. He couldn't even tell that they were all ascending anymore.

He saw a paradisial tropic tree secreting sweet sap for young crustaceans. Sa swam over to it. As he got closer, he saw many more of the same thing behind it. It was a whole row of utopian shade givers. Somehow, it was all just perfect. Because, the sun was indeed shining upon this place particularly. The pale, sensitive creatures took shelter under these generous canopies.

Sa kept swimming too see what else existed that he wasn't aware of.

He saw a beach. All of the water, literally, splashed against its tender face of sand. Sa wanted to call for Atee but, its hard to talk underwater. Maybe she would show up on her own, despite his efforts. "She has a knack for that" he thought.

Sa noticed there wasn't anything on the beach. But, then he realized everything here was water breathing. Sa and Atee were mistakenly involved.

The water grew thinner and shallower and Soon his head poked through. He took a whiff of the warm, thin air. He had forgotten that he was still high above where the air had been thick and full. Sa kind of liked it, he felt playful from the beach but at peace and accomplished like at the summit of a mountain.

It was nice to finally feel the sun's complete warmth, he thought. Comparatively, it was cold in the water.

The sand was soft and smooth, he had the sensation that it was royalty sand and he was the prince. Maybe there was a castle nearby. Sa didn't even bother looking around.

He only looked at the non-rising water. And then he saw Atee floating there.

Without hesitation, he swam out across the water. He knew she could hear him because she turned her head the other way. He splashed water on her. She skipped her fingers across the surface, flicking water back.

He swam underneath her and waited for her to look around for him. When she turned her head, he let himself rise to her opposite side. He layed flat on his back like she did. She looked back to the sky. They could both feel each other peeking out of the corner of their inner eyes. They didn't ask any questions or think anything. They just felt the world press in against them and then release, pulsating with the energy omnipresent.

Number Twenty Eight ©

Sa watched the buildings pass by.

He saw in his leather seat, his chin resting on his palms, looking out the window of the train. The hills rolled past. The roads went away.

A woman sitting behind Sa kept kicking his seat to the rhythm of the bass in some song in her head. Sa didn't mind.

After a while it was quite meditative. He started to wonder what she looked like. He actually wasn't sure it was a woman, he just made the arbitrary assumption that it was. Possibly, it could be a man. Sa wanted to believe it was an intelligent, beautiful, articulate, very musically inclined woman. He didn't mind if they would only be friends, he was just happy to benefit from her giving him a tune to snooze too.

Sa woke up after falling asleep to the melody she created. It could be her own original creation, as well. Sa just assumed it was the recreation of an already existing beat.

As he awoke, her feet were still pounding percussions into his back. It wasn't loud, it was just light enough for him to feel but no one else to hear.

She might not have even noticed what she was doing. Maybe it just came from her unconscious, it may have been a habit for her to unconsciously tab her feet to exceptional rhythms.

Sa wondered if she travelled alot, if she took this same train every time. He wondered who she was sitting with, if anyone. He wondered what her childhood was like and what made her happy.

Maybe she was wondering who was sitting in front of her. Maybe she wanted to just kick a hole in his seat and have him turn around and peek through it.

He wondered where this train was going and where she was going afterwards. He didn't remember what he had gotten on her for, anymore. It wasn't a problem though. Sa wasn't obligated to be somewhere else. He could be anywhere doing anything in the world and be just fine.

In his mind, Sa began putting sounds to her kicks. Sometimes a cymbal, sometimes a horn, sometimes a snare drum, sometimes a funky guitar chord. His eyes closed themseles and Sa just listened to the music. He wanted more of this band. Maybe they would perform somewhere close by. Maybe he could get them to play for free.

Soon, his questions receded and only a small sliver of awareness was there to experience the melody. There was no other awareness. Just a minuscule slice witnessing this two-footed band orchestrate a hypnotic chant of percussion. It grew louder and more ambient.

Sa's eyes opened, as they always must, after several hours. The music was no longer, Sa hadn't even noticed. His eyes were staring straight ahead into the seat ahead. The person sitting next to him had been replaced. Replaced with another person, pretty much indistinguishable from the rest of the local population. They wore tall hats, very earthy colors, thick, heavy jackets- which appeared waterproof. A few of them had glasses, some carried brown cases, very full of traveling belongings.

Few people on the train lived on it. Sa could have been wrong with that assumption, but it seemed logical. They would have to pay for a ticket every stop. Maybe if passengers gave them money, maybe if they would perform and entertain them. Who knows, Sa just knew that everybody on the train looked similar.

He realized that she would probably look like one of them, too. He wanted to picture her differently but it was too good to be true, He thought that everybody probably kicked on the seat in front of them. She was probably not even a she. A man could have been making all those taps against his seat.

He tried to think of something else. His window was really, really clean. As if nobody had ever smudged it, or it was cleaned very frequently. Somebody had to do it, he figured. "What a job" he thought, "Scrubbing windows. Just so that vagabonds like me can see clearly".

He noticed that in the gap between his seat and the window was a space which revealed a very feminine silhouette facial reflection off the adjacent window. "Perhaps she was a she!" Sa was extraordinarily excited with this possibility.

"Her legs must be sore" He thought.

It was a refreshing turn of events.

His attentions returned to the tall man beside him. The man was very remarkably boring. His ere open, his mouth closed, very coarse heavy wrinkles with dry skin. He was clearly awake, but he never spoke or looked in Sa's direction, even to see out of the window. They could have doing off of a cliff or off the track and he would have had no way of being forewarned. Sa always checked out the window to be sure there was rails beneath them. He also liked to watch everything pass them by, and to watch the sky very hesitantly change. Sometimes the clouds transform into new forms. Morphing from one shape to another. With very elaborate pictures, one animal changing can affect the entire picture profoundly. Sa liked those pictures the most. Sometimes it was like watching a movie. Sa didn't have to do a thing but look and everything around him was alive and changing and fascinating.

For hours in a train, Sa wouldn't be bored. He wasn't even alone either. He could speak to anyone and they would reply. If he didn't, they weren't going to disturb him. Everyone left one another alone, mostly. This was the case in many of the places Sa visited.

Once in a while, the being swould be very eccentric. Sa wouldn't stay long in those places because he couldn't relax. Always they kept him at his sharpest with witty questions and compelling, suggestive gestures.

Something happened and Sa was filled with an overwhelming warm smile. He felt everything was in progress. Still incompletelStill perfecting. There was so much waiting for him. Still so much to enjoy. So much to relate to and to be blissful with. So much to be there for. So much that will happen of its own. All in due time. This overwhelming smile just held him warmly. And Sa gave it.

Number Thirty Four ©

Atee turned all of the lights on. She raised them to max. Wherever she went, she was too blinded to think. With her eyes closed she still could see the light. Her eyes were throbbing, they must have been swollen to twice their size. She couldn't even turn off the lights if she wanted too, she couldn't find them. She felt immaterial.

Her skin was warmed. Every once and a while she passed by a source of heat. It must have been the light. Too hot to touch, but she did anyways. She fumbled with the switch. Her fingers went numb and she didn't know how to move them. She pulled away. It was useless.

She brought her hand too her face. She could see a faint red flow outlining its shape.

It began to regain feeling, but only pain. She thought hot lava was flowing through, down her wrist into each finger.

She lost her mind.

Drums and chanting resonated around a central fire. The dancers were missing, where could they be?

Hiding in the bushes?

The dirt was being kicked around by invisible feet. The entrances to the camp were being opened and shut by invisible bodies.

The chants were louder in certain spots, as if an invisible mouth were originating the sound from there.

Rain fell from the sky. The sky lost color with each drop that fell, soon it was pure white. There were no clouds.

The rain didn't affect the fire. But, it soaked her skin. She stepped into the fire. No heat. They weren't real flames.

The trees moved, her hair was blown all around. The wind whispered in her ear. She couldn't hear a thing, she only felt it, tickling.

The rain fell, all of it. The ground was underwater. The water began to move. All the water flowed to the left. She followed, stepping through it. It moved around the twigs and flowers and rocks. Nothing, not a single bug, floated in the water.

Atee kept following it. Over logs, through tall brush. There came ahead a steep, massive hill. The water had no trouble maneuvering up the slope.

Atee layed down flat, hoping the water would carry her but it left her behind. Now she had to catch up.

She dug her fingers and toes into the muddy surface, gaining a slippery grip. She climbed to the top.

The water was flowing like a river down the opposite side. Atee wasn't even tired. She slid down the hill. The water led her to the beach. It flowed into the infinite ocean and disappeared.

Atee swam into the water and layed down on her back. She let the ocean carry her away.

Number Forty ©

Atee was walking through waves of slimy ooze. The slime was omnipresent wherever she stepped.

Finally she stepped out. She stepped into an oasis of steam. The steam sweated all the toxins from her skin. Not a drop of oil remained stuck to her.

A round bowl of steaming water was before her. She lowered herself into it. She lowered her face beneath the surface of the water, keeping her eyes open. She completely relaxed.

The glass beneath her broke and she fell into the sky.

It didn't seem real until she saw the earth colliding into her. She was also still above, watching from the bowl above the sky.

She knew something bad had happened. She wasn't moving, just lying there.

Through the clouds she could see the sun rising from behind the planet. She felt good. At least the sun still rose. At least the trees and flowers could still feel the light and the love.

Even if she couldn't move, she knew she could feel the sun. At least she hadn't fallen into a hole, or a cave.

The steam surrounded this oasis with a perfect mysterious cover. She heard another's steps walking through this myst. She felt so gracious that they didn't get stuck in the ooze. "How many must still be lost" She thought.

Even though she hadn't seen the being yet, an energy of companionship was already present.

She could feel the water rippling towards her. But, the fog was so thick she still couldn't see who had entered the pool. She could feel another sequence of ripples being generated from another direction. Another must have entered without her noticing.

The glass shattered and they fell through. The couldn't see them. The temperature began to rise. The water began to evaporate.

The opened her eyes. The intense light reduced her vision to a blur. She sat up and brushed the dirt off of herself.

Number Thirty Eight ©

Sa was upside down hanging from a tree. He looked across the volleyball net to a kid hanging upside from monkey bars.

He looked to his right across the sandbox to a child hanging upside down from a tree branch.

And to his left, a kid was climbing up a tree and began to get in motion to dangle upside down, as well, with his legs curled around the branch.

Sa looked off towards the horizon where the clouds passed very quickly. The wind was very rapid today.

The kid on the monkey bars began to sway from side to side.

A could older kids began playing with a ball bouncing it back and forth across the net.

Sa borrowed the kids idea and started swaying too.

The other two kids began swaying, as well, before long.

A few young children hopped into the sandbox and began dumping sand into piles.

An adul on a riding lawnmower started up the engine and started driving it across the yard.

Some teen aged kids dribbled a ball on the cement and toss it into a hoop.

A couple young girls drew hopscotch squares onto the ground with chalk.

A helicopter flew overhead, then a woman jumped out with a parachute. The helicopter flew away.

A flock of birds came from the sky and landed on an unused laundry wire. A groundhog and a mole crawled out of the dirt and layed down in the shade, beside a tree.

Sa watched the sky, as the sun slowly moved diagonally across the sky. The clouds stood still and the star moved on its own. Another star emerged from behind the fluffy clouds and it too moved on its own.

Sa noticed how much each leaf moved a slightly different fashion than all the others. The wind made his water. Some of the branches moved, as if their own intelligence instructed them too.

A few beings threw darts at a bull's eye on a tree. Sa just watched.

Number Thirty Nine ©

Sa watched the storm unleash its unprovoked, unchallenged fury upon him.

Lightning struck down the trees standing tall around him. The rain drowned the grass and soaked his clothes. He felt a hundreds pounds heavier. The clouds blocked all moonlight.

The humidity smuggled water into his heart and lungs. His skin was stretched tight, twisting itself around his muscles and bones.

The wind thrashed twigs at Sa like shrapnel from an explosive.

The lightning heated the air, his body wanted to sweat.

He proceded to walk straight ahead. Through the dark. He felt like someone was following but knew that wasn't true.

Who else would sacrifice everything just to find the eye of the storm? Just to sit there serenely among all the chaos. Who else would lie down just to feel the water rising over their face, as branches fell on top of them? Who else would climb a tree and wait for lightning to strike it down, just to experience the fall in perfect darkness? Who else would sing and dance as noisily as they could just because they knew no one could hear? Who else.

Sa embraced the violent winds. He embraced the heated rain and the mad thunder.

He had never felt so comfortable. He wasn't scared, he was so safe and so complete.

Everytime the lightning flashed, the whole sky pregnant with infinitudes of stars was revealed.

Sa sat on a broken tree stump. He realized all the other animals are probably taking shelter too, underground, in caves, under bridges. Sa might have been alone.

He dug his feet into the mud until they were sunken above the ankle. He let himself become entrapped. He stuck out his tongue and tasted the rain.

He drew pictures in the mud with his fingers by the flickering lamp of the storm. He used his elbows as ultra large brushes and his knuckles as medium sized ones. His fingertips were just the right size and sufficed for everything else.

He leaned in and smeared his face in the mud. He didn't want the storm to end.

He got out of the ground and traveled with the storm "It will last forever" he thought, "if I don't leave it."

He wondered if there were ancient cultures who lived in storms. Who traveled with them and ostracized those who left. Maybe the chief would meditate in the center.

Sa felt the winds were weaker in the direction he moved. So he turned around and ran another way. It was so dark, he was lost and confused. He spun in circles as he ran. He had no sense of location whatsoever. Why did his body keep spinning, why did his neck keep swaying and his chin keep bobbing? He waved his arms out wide and his feet took him somewhere.

He thought his eyes were open but it was too dark to tell. He could see just the same when he closed them.

Sa laughed. He saw birds dancing in the sky defying the storm's will, as lightning struck all around them but, missing each time. Other animals must have seen the birds too because he felt a giant wave of courage sweep by. Critters emerged from the ground and acted as if everything was normal. Earthworms and creepy crawlies stuck out their heads. The lightning was too afraid to actually hurt anything with feelings.

The storm wanted beings to believe it was boss but, beneath its front, it was full of warmth.

Maybe this was the secret an ancient culture did discover.

Beings like Sa were last to come out and expose themselves to the storm. Their appearance declared brazenly that they want to see the true face of the storm, "Show me your soul", they declared.

The lightning ceased, the winds fell, the rain stopped. The clouds receded into the depths of the heavens. A single star was chosen from the whole existence and brought glory and light to the world.