Number Seventy

Maybe tomorrow someone would call and nobody would be around to hear it.

Maybe Sa would be all alone, looking for the strength to stay. Searching for his inner temple, searching for the courage not to give in. Just any day, he may be looking for her and she wouldn't be there anymore. The name wouldn't mean anything.

For now, he could still look inside.

Maybe tomorrow he wouldn't be around to.

He knew there were things inside he didn't want to find. He didn't have the will to confront them.

For now, he would just say yes and keep on walking. If he kept moving he didn't have to see, he didn't have to be anywhere.

Someday there would arrive a great light, blanketing over everything. It would bring joy and friendship, at the expense of secrecy. Sa could feel good under the light but there were a few things he would have to lock inside.

He wasn't allowed to talk about the hurting when he saw someone disappear into the light. He wondered what else he couldn't share.

The next day, Sa saw another someone disappear. They were just raking their leaves and they vanished. He thought he had seen into the future. He thought he must have foreseen their inevitable passing.

He tried but no one would listen. He tried to put it away inside. But, it wasn't soft, it wasn't natural. It wasn't a good fit, it was meant to be shared in a dialogue.

He ran away from the light. No more secrets.

He ran to a great shadow he imagined. No more secrets.

He felt his feet disappearing. He still felt himself moving, but it was as if his body was falling asleep from the bottom up.

His lower half was physically absent. No more secrets, he couldn't trap anything else inside.

Someone saw Sa disappearing. It hurt them too. They couldn't tell anyone either. They wanted to look away, but he was fighting so hard to stay.

Someday he knew he would have to make a choice.

He couldn't belong to two places at once.

A part of him was alive on Heaven. Another part was alive on the ground. He could take his chances and travel back and forth in his dreams.

He just hadn't prepared. He had to loosen his memories. He was soon to be free.

The someone watching couldn't see Sa anymore.
Sa was totally and vastly, immensely and incredibly, fast asleep.